Today is day 7 on my meds. And I feel good. I have let go of the things that I can no longer control and am holding tight to the things that I see in my future.
"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence."
--Abigail Adams
I have always said that you learn something new every day. It is there for the taking you just have to slow down and digest it. This past week has taught me so much, not only about myself, but about those around me.
I have been humbled through this illness. My health and fitness are not all I that I am and they may be taken from me at any given time. I have learned not to take ANYTHING for granted. Cliche as it is, tomorrow is never promised. I have been reminded (because this one is always being taught to me) that I can't always do everything all the time and that that is okay. Perfection will never be attained in this lifetime so it's okay to let things go sometimes.
Those that are in my life that truly care have been supportive and loving. I have learned how much I am loved. I have been shown who will stand by me through the good and the bad. And all the encouraging words and support have truly uplifted me and given me strength.
I am always striving for more patience in my life and with last week's sudden attack I have been forced to practice it daily. It's been extremely tough mentally for me to not be active. I have not been to the gym or did any type of exercise for 12 days. That is the longest stretch of time of inactivity in the last 12 years! I guess one day for every year is what I'm due. :-) Tomorrow I will attempt yoga. I figure I can always sit in child pose the whole class if it gets to be too much. I just need a small mental boost to get me through the rest of the week.
Giving trust to my doctor has been a lesson as well. I know he is the educated one on this disease. And I know, rationally, that he has my best interest at heart. I also know that he wouldn't put me on a medication he didn't think I needed. Learning to trust him through this has been a step by step process. I am trying to be open to his course of action but at the same time hold on to a little bit of power in my care. He says he will work closely with me in monitoring my progression with the meds, particularly the prednisone, so that we can minimize the side effects. I am banking on this. But I also know that whatever is meant to be will be. I have a few things in my back pocket I can turn to once my course of steroids is done.
I never thought that this journey of figure training I embarked on would lead me to so many revelations and lessons. I am constantly learning how much I can deal with and how strong I really am physically,mentally and emotionally. I have yet to cross that elusive finish line, but when I do that victory will be that much sweeter. <3
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