After the storm, the sky clears

The colonoscopy showed something somewhat surprising today. The only area of inflammation and ulcers was at 0-20cm of the colon( very last part of the colon). What this means is that I have no inflammation in my small intestines or any other part of my colon. It is a possibility that I may have ulcerative colitis instead of crohn's. It's tomatoe tomato concerning most pain symptoms but that would be better for me in the long term.

He took biopsies while in there too, so we wait on those results and the biopsies of my upper GI yesterday. I see him back in his office in a week.

The bad news: I will be taking an inordinate amount of medication for the next 2 weeks. Two of those meds for two weeks and  the other 2 meds until the Dr. says to stop.  And yes, the prednisone is in that bunch. After being in so much pain yesterday, I had no choice. I couldn't function that way.

Crazy thing is......I was actually anticipating starting these medications. I am tired of feeling this way. I took the first dose of pills as soon as I got home. I was able to get all of my doses in except my last dose of prednisone. I am already feeling better.

The bad parts are still my right knee, left hand and right finger. My ankles are still swollen but they don't hurt .I have just about full range of motion in all my joints. My right knee is still holding on to some stiffness and pain w/ pressure. I'll be doubly happy when all of the swelling goes down completely. I see now why the nurse today said prednisone is like a miracle worker and why Dr.'s turn to it in severe cases of inflammation like I have.

The last time I worked out was last Thursday. It's been a week since I've done anything and I am eager to get back to my workouts. Probably not as intense as I was during training but enough to maintain my muscle mass and not loose what I worked so hard to gain. I won't push it though. I won't step into the gym until all of this swelling is gone. I hope that's soon. I'm going crazy without my workouts.

I spent some time grieving today. Grieving the fact that I had been somewhat defeated. Then I just accepted that if I really wanted the pain and suffering to stop, I had no choice but to take these pills. I was so tired of feeling sick. I had two choices today: to be whiny, woe-is-me and helpless or to push forward, be accepting and participate in the healing. I chose the latter.

I am putting trust in my new Dr. that he will monitor me closely enough so we can minimize any side effects of the steroid. It's hard to trust someone you don't know about something so important but at some point I have to let go. It's been hard to give up that control.

So tonight I am feeling hopeful again. Feeling the pain seep out of my body has been reassuring and exciting. Exciting because of how quickly my body is responding and because I am that much closer to feeling like "me" again. This has been so rough on me emotionally. To go from being someone who is as active as I am, to be struck down in your tracks, it's been emotionally debilitating.

Confession: at one point the pain was so bad yesterday I asked myself if I was dying.

I am ready for this chapter to begin because that means I am that much closer to the next.