Clean eating to heal from the inside out

My new eating plan is basically a carb cycling plan. I have 2 days of moderate carbs followed by 4 days of low carbs and 1 day of HIGH carbs. I am not so concerned with my protein intake right now but by trying to get 70% of my carbs from vegetables. Green vegetables. My allowed fat intake is also somewhat higher then I'm used to but I am finding that on my low carb days, that's what I crave. The body wants what it is losing!

Admission: Meal planning, food preparation and "counting" consumes me.

Although it is very time consuming and somewhat tedious, I don't actually mind it most of the time. I am committed to being as clean as possible not only for my competition training but also for my overall health.

Not many of you know this, but I have an irritable bowel disease. These diseases are not talked about in the open very often for the simple fact that the symptoms are not an easy or pleasant thing to talk about. They are ugly, painful, and intimate. For that reason, I will not even attempt to go into what happens to my body when I am in a flare. It isn't pretty. Or fun.

I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease in early 2003, shortly after Niyanna was born. I started having some serious unexplainable symptoms a month or two after she was born that just got progressively worse as the time went on. After 3 doctors and lots of prodding plus a colonoscopy, I finally had a diagnosis. The diagnosis only gave me an answer but not necessarily clarity.

I don't often complain of my in-between-flare symptoms because compared to other people w/ this disease I have it easy. I've only had 3 flares since my diagnosis 8 years ago and for that I am extremely grateful. Unfortunately, I am in the middle of a flare now that began shortly after I got food poisoning the first week of July. The thing about a flare is, there is no telling how long it will stick around. The last 2 I had each lasted about 6 months before my body healed itself. This time, I have decided to take things into my own hands.

Yes, there are some medications that I can take, the main one being a steroid that I refuse to put into my body. There are also anti-inflammatory drugs I can try but the one I did try gave me migraine headaches w/in 2 days of taking it, had no generic which made it $50 for a month's worth, and needed to basically be taken everyday forever to work. (Well, maybe not forever but it only works if you have it in your system constantly.)

I have mostly been able to keep my flares at bay by eliminating and restricting certain foods from my diet. After doing some more research, I discovered that there were many more things I needed to change in order to help my body heal itself from the inside out.

Since I was going to be somewhat restricted with this new eating plan, I decided to implement a few other guidelines. I am trying to eat as many anti-inflammatory foods as possible, eliminate as much processed food as possible, eliminate dairy and weed out sugar. It's been a challenge at times and by no means am I perfect yet but today I was thinking that just like my process of changing my eating and fitness habits 13 years ago, this new lifestyle change will also take some time to perfect.

The anti-inflammatory things I am eating are broccoli, asparagus, spinach, blueberries(any berry, actually), green tea, ginger, salmon, Asian mushrooms, sweet potato, olive oil, flax seed. There are a few more that I will try to also incorporate over time like pineapple, papaya, and cauliflower (of which I am not super fond).

Sugar, as I am learning is not only very inflammation promoting, but also like heroin to your body: the more you eat, the more your body craves. Although I have eliminated table sugar and even stevia from my diet, it is difficult to remove it completely because like dairy, it is in almost everything! I am trying to stick to the natural sugar content of fruits, sweet potatoes and nut butters. I have also been trying to  use agave nectar to sweeten my food, although I haven't actually used much of it.

I am a self professed sweet junkie but surprisingly the one thing that I am actually having a hard time with is giving up my yogurt. :-( I gave up cow's milk a long time ago and have been gradually restricting my cheese intake so that now I actually don't miss my cheese. I thought that hell would have to freeze over in order for me to give up cheese. I miss it sometimes, but not as much as I thought I would.

After eating clean for a week, I can see my body responding to this new diet. That gives me motivation to keep it clean for as long as I can. I would like to make this a complete lifestyle eating change but not w/ complete rigidity. I would still like to enjoy some things once in awhile. ;-) The key to this being eating clean most days but allowing myself treats on occasion.

After all, life IS too short to not enjoy your food.

New workouts have me pumped!

I started my new workouts last week and am loving them! I was so ready for a change and this new 3 week program is just what I like: intense, challenging and fullfilling. Tomorrow begins week 2 and I can hardly wait. (Yes, I am weird - that's already been established- for enjoying strength training as much as I do.)

I am lifting 4 days a week now, not anymore then the 4 day splits I was doing before. The caveat is the combination of exercises, the set/rep factor and the intensity. I have been really trying to concentrate on good form and complete range of motion in order to get after my symmetry problems.

Here is what my new workouts look like:
Monday/Tuesday: 9 exercises - 5 sets - 15 reps - 30 second rest between sets
Wednesday: yoga - cardio only
Thursday: 9 exercises - 3 sets - 10-12 reps - 45 second rest
Friday: OFF
Saturday: 8 exercises - HEAVY - 3 sets - 4-6 reps - 60 second rest
Sunday: yoga-cardio only

I do yoga M & W and Sat/Sun if I can make it. Then 30-45 min cardio M/T/W/TH/SAT.

The other issue I have been concentrating on is really engaging my lats during any back/lat exercise. It's been helping me with my posing and getting the mind/body connection for my lat flare. I am excited to see how this new plan in combination with my new eating plan is going to change my body.

I already feel my body changing again which gives me more motivation to hit it hard and stay on track. Well, that and the 2 new pairs of kicks I picked up a few weeks ago. ;-)

Compete to win!

I had a sit down with my coach today in which we discussed my workout plan and diet parameters for the next 3 weeks as well as how I was feeling about my progress and how my body felt and looked. During our hour long meeting I had a epiphany:
Since when I have I ever competed just to compete?! I ONLY compete to win. Period.

Trusting the process is often times one of the hardest things a person may have to do. Facing a truth is another. Accepting reality.....well, that right there is a whole 'nother something to swallow. A set back does not have to equal a defeat. How a person decides to digest these truths and whether or not they decide to take that blind leap of faith into that process whole heartily, is the deciding factor in whether or not they will persevere.

I have pushed through adversity. I have excelled at new things. I have perfected others on the first attempt. I have stayed strong physically, emotionally and mentally. I have faced fears. I have overcome obstacles. I have trusted my intuition. Why should I stop fighting now?

I am not just trying to survive this journey; I am trying to excel.  I am striving to be as close to perfection as possible. I really want to WIN! I will not settle for second best or a half ass attempt. I want to be the best that I know I can be by putting in the most effort, dedication and time I can.

The past month has been tough. So much going on in life compounded with the fact that I haven't had access to as much help as I have needed or wanted. No one's fault, really. Just how the cards have fallen over the past 30 days.

I refuse to lose this competition because I wasn't ready - physically, mentally or emotionally. I will only accept a loss if I know I have given 110%. If I can look in the mirror and truthfully tell myself that I tried my hardest, then I can accept a loss with grace. That is the only way I will be able to move on and try even harder for the next competition.

I know I have a lot of people in my corner cheering me on, pushing me to not give up, excited for my progress and really believing in me and not only what they know I can do but what I have already accomplished. It's hard to express how much I appreciate these gems in my life. Knowing I have so many people that care about me is priceless, however, this support translates to pressure.

I already put so much pressure and stress on myself to be the best, to be perfect. You have to understand that no one person is creating extra pressure on me it's just that for me it means I have that many more people I don't want to let down.

With all that being said, I have decided to postpone my debut in my first figure competition. I am just not ready. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

I had hoped to be ready in enough time to get 2 shows under my belt before this particular federation's competitions moved out of geographical range for me to attend. It's just not in the cards. So, I will give myself another 7 weeks to prepare for the next one in range.

October 1st. OCB Sin City Natural in Las Vegas.

After that, I will have until March 2012 to prepare for the next OCB here in the Phoenix area. By then, I plan to have perfected my  training, dieting and posing.

A new day. A new resolve. Same goal. The best outcome.

I only play to win.

Passion, Perfection, Dedication, Discipline and Persistance

It seems like every day is a new challenge for me. Staying focused and disciplined is getting more difficult with every passing day. I never question  my dedication or my passion but my persistence lags when I am feeling defeated. And perfectionism gets in the way of everything!

The last few weeks have been really draining emotionally and mentally for me. I am trying to stay focused, positive and confident but it's been an every day struggle. Those of you who talk to me regularly know this; you're all probably pretty tired of hearing me say "I don't think I can do this!" but it's seriously always at the front of my mind.

The training I have been doing over the past 4+ months started off with such ease. I sprinted out of the gates at full speed and was able to stay so focused. I trained hard, I remained dedicated and I didn't let my thoughts get in the way. Training was intense and I could see and feel the results. Being able to see my body change (mostly through pictures, but also with the measurements) was such a confidence boost! At this point in my training, I can still feel my body changing but it's much slower and clearly not fast enough for my mind. Patience is NOT one of my forte's.

I am now entering my 5th  month and am feeling frustrated, defeated, and unsure. Questioning my readiness is a daily occurrence at this point in the game. I feel like I am running out of time and there is still SO much to be done! I don't feel like I "look" ready. Through my eyes, I don't look as close enough to the other girls as I should.

This is were the frustration comes into play. I feel like my spirit, body and mind are ready to do whatever it takes to get to where I need to be, but not having the support and proper guidance through all of this is finally taking a toll on me mentally. This journey has been one that I embarked on alone and I continue to sail the sea in a one woman boat. I know I could have hired someone to help me but the money investment aside, I really wanted to see what I could do on my own. It is becoming abundantly clear with every passing week that in order for me to get to the level I want to eventually attain, I must call in some reinforcements.

Being a perfectionist seems to be getting in the way as well. I keep telling myself that most women who do these shows give themselves at least 8 months to get their bodies competition ready. I've only been at it hardcore for 4. I have been overly concerned with how I will match up with the other competitor's. I have this horrible feeling of embarrassment coming over me. I keep thinking I am gonna look like such a rookie on that stage. I want to be perfect. I want my body to speak for itself and "show" the way I think it should. I am so afraid of being laughed at and looked at with an over critical eye.

Truth is, it's gonna happen regardless of whether I am "perfect" or not. After all, that's what the judges are there to do. And every girl backstage is going to be looking at their competition with a critical eye as well. I just hate not being able to perfect everything I attempt on the first try.

I know I need to just push through my mind's bullshit, stop whining and get to work. I don't want to fail. I don't want to disappoint myself or all of my friends and family that are cheering me on. I need to learn to accept where I am at this point in time so that I can continue to move forward on this journey.

I will NOT be a quitter. My dad would say, "NO stinkin thinkin!" and encourage me to follow through and push forward. For my dad, I do anything. So, today I am making a promise to myself to push as hard as I possibly can mentally, emotionally, physically over the next 20 days. I CAN do this.....you just watch and see. ;-)

Short term goals: OCB Arizona Natural 8/27/2011; OCB Sin City Natural 10/1/2011
Long term goal: Training in the "off season" (Oct-Feb/March) and getting ready for the shows in the spring; hiring someone to help me with my splits and nutrition; accepting what my body is able to do.

And so I leave you with some awesome words of wisdom from one of my dearest friends. I need to post this up on my mirror and read it every day.

"Our biggest critic in life for people like us is ourselves. With that being said understand that this characteristic allows us to go above and beyond what the average person may ever be able to achieve. You have shown amazing will power through major adversity so there needs to be no doubt. You will succeed you will be great and you will be proud of yourself in more ways than one. You are excelling in something that you are passionate about and how many people will ever be able to say that. I guess what I'm trying to say is KEEP TRAINING HIT THAT SHOW AND KICK SOME ASS!"