The decision has been made and it's time time to move forward.
Tomorrow starts another new chapter in this journey. I will be spending the next 12 weeks or so focusing on rebuilding the muscle and strength I lost when I was ill and forced to take time off from training. My main goal is to regain and surpass my previous strength, firm up and hopefully bulk up a bit too.
My diet will not be as restricted as it was when I was in full training mode. Instead of focusing on carb cycling and cutting body fat, I will be focusing on maintaining my current body fat percentage and staying within a 5-10 lb range with my weight. I'll still be food journaling but instead of focusing on carbs I will be focusing on my overall calorie intake as well as upping my protein intake to build my muscle back up. It's been freeing not having to be so precise with my carb intake and allowing myself to enjoy food again instead of being in the mindset of food=fuel. Chocolate, ice cream, yogurt, bread are my friends again. :-)
I am already feeling a mental and emotional boost from taking this short break from being so precise and restrictive with my training and eating. I have been working so hard, nonstop for over 6 months with the main goal all along to get to the point where I would be competition ready. My mental/emotional endurance was running out. Now that the possibility of reaching that goal is simply out of reach for the short term I am ready to loosen the grip on my self discipline and rigidity in my training and eating.
I know that this break is right on time and it will allow me to grow in love with my workouts again and alleviate some of the stress of planning meals and maintaining such a strict workout regime. It's been nice not to be so hard on myself to fit all my training in and freeing to not feel so guilty if I don't get to a workout every day or eat something I shouldn't.
I would also like to start working on some of my career goals and implementing a plan of action to keep moving forward. I'm excited to see what I can do in the next few months to achieve this goal. I have several things in brain rotation.
On the health front, I am feeling really good physically. I am hoping that this week will be a changing one, as I see my doctor on Wednesday and will hopefully, finally be ready to start my "forever" medication and begin tapering off this prednisone. *fingers crossed*
I am continuing to put one foot in front of the other and refuse to look back. It's only forward movement and thinking for me. And I am continuing to gain strength and motivation from all of my wonderfully supportive family and friends. I don't know if I could have pushed through all of this entirely on my own. I am genuinely most grateful and appreciative of every one's love. <3
"My friends are my estate." - Emily Dickinson.
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