Suit fabric and bling pattern

For some of you, this figure competition/show I am training for is a completely new thing to you. You may have known a little, a lot or absolutely nothing about them before stumbling upon my wild ride.

I've already given you the basics of what the competition is about so now that I have my suit fabric and "bling" pattern picked out I am ready to show you what a figure suit looks like. Or at least what MY figure suit will look like.

Here is a picture of the fabric I have chosen:

Blue, and any shade of it, is my favorite color. I knew I had to have something that was bright and would like awesome with my skin tone. As soon as she showed me this option I was sold. Check out the cool dot pattern on it. It's kind of snake skin like.

These suits are all custom made and likewise the crystals or "bling" as we affectionately refer is also custom hand applied. I scoured the internet looking at dozens and dozens of bling patterns and finally narrowed it down to two that I am considering.

I will be meeting with the girl that applies the crystals sometime this week so we can talk specifics on what I want to keep or change from the pattern I chose as well as the color of the crystals.

Here is a picture of the patterns I chose:

The first pattern is very simple and will allow the fabric detail to really show through. It will also be less expensive. The second patter is much more elaborate and will take twice the amount of time to finish. Also means twice the price.

Give me some input and let me know what you think. And remember, I can make adjustments and changes to both of us in any way I want. These are just a basis on which to create.

As you can see, the first one only uses clear stones. In the second I would use clear and a shade of blue, probably a lighter shade then the royal of the suit. Or I could leave that detail out completely and only do the clear.

14.5% (and other numbers ;-)

I am SUPER stoked! And I think this just helped push me through at least another 2 weeks.

I had my body fat tested today (using the standard calipers). I had a new trainer do it because I felt like the other guy wasn't really getting a correct read. They say you should stick with the same person throughout because everyone has their own way of using the calipers but I decided to buck that and do it my way. ;-)

Officially: 14.5 % Woo to the fucking HOO!

I also decided it was time to take some body measurements since the last time I did that was in early May. I started the "leaning out" journey on April 11th. Here are the measurements I've taken since then(in inches and lbs.).

                       4/16/2011                           5/12/2011                             7/26/2011
Weight:          150.2                                       144.6                                   141.6
Waist:             31.5                                           30                                        29
Hips:               37.5                                           35.5                                     35
Thigh:             22                                              21.13                                   20.5
Calf:               15.25                                          14                                        14
Upper Arm:    10.75                                          10.13                                   9.5
Body Fat %:     21%                                           16%                                   14.5%

The numbers don't lie.

It is still an everyday struggle for me, to keep my head in the game; to stay focused; to have faith. And most of all to believe in myself. When you are going through a body transformation, be it losing 10lbs or 100lbs or dropping body fat as I am, you don't always SEE what is happening right before your eyes. I went through this enigma before when I was in the process of losing 35+lbs.

The reflection that stares back at you looks no different to you then it did yesterday or 6 months ago. The changes are subtle and constant. It's like watching paint dry. Or a snail crawl. (Actually snails slide, but you get the point.) If you blink, you'll miss it.

I hear people I know say how "small" I am or how good I look. Or I get the comment that I am disappearing and I better not lose any more weight. But I don't see it. All I see are the things I need to improve.

Taking these measurements are an important part of the process for me because it allows me to have concrete evidence that my hard work is indeed paying off. So, with these new numbers I forge ahead another few weeks. This should give me the push I so desperately needed.

Learning self forgiveness is a long and winding road

I ate a piece of cake. There. I said it out loud. Hrmpf.

At first, I was definitely feeling defeated. And angry. At myself. Self discipline is a learning curve. And so is self forgiveness. It is a one step forward, two steps back kinda journey. I learned that when I embarked on the weight loss train nearly 5 years ago.

Learning to forgive myself for the missteps has been difficult, to say the least. It's so hard not to beat myself up when I do something that I know is clearly counter intuitive to my progress. I've been trying to consciously stop and ask myself, "Will this choice get me to my end goal?", but there are still times when I shout a resounding NO and yet I still knowingly make the wrong choice.

I've begun to realize more and more lately, how most of those "wrong" choices are linked to food. Yes. Food is my obsession and I am the first person to admit it. I've never shyed away from the well known fact that I love food and I simply love to eat. I enjoy stopping to taste my food. I enjoy trying new things. I love eating foods that make me happy or bring back fond memories.

There is so much emotion tied into food and eating. We eat to celebrate holidays. We eat to celebrate birthdays. We eat to celebrate accomplishments. Happiness and contentment are all wrapped up into eating. So why wouldn't someone love to eat?!

Moderation. Moderation. Moderation. You hear it all the time. I've read that when embarking on such a restrictive diet as the one that I am on, 90% compliance is an acceptable goal. Meaning, you should strive for adhering  90% of the time, and the other 10% is wiggle room for "off limits" food.

Sometimes my 90% is 75%. :-( But you know what? I will not beat myself up about it. I will move the F on. That is simply the only choice I have if I want to stay sane. Well, you know, in my sense of the word sane,anyways. ;-)  I've learned from the past, that if I berate myself I'll make more bad choices. So I must consciously decide to let the emotions run their course: anger, sadness, disappointment, frustration. Then pick myself up and do better when the next choice comes along.

I will not lie. It's not always that easy. I have moments of weakness just like the next person. It's learning to fight through it all that is the battle. So I will put on my boxing gloves and duke it out with my conscious, cause that's really what I am fighting.

And maybe, just maybe my continued journey with it's accomplishments and defeats will continue to encourage and inspire.

Success is a journey, not a destination

For some of you, this journey of mine may seem like it has just began. In reality, this journey began quite some time ago. The meat and potatoes of it all, I suppose, began this past April.

Exercise and athletics have been a part of my life since I was a child. I began playing organized, competitive softball when I was 9 and continued with that sport until I finished high school at 17. I started playing volleyball when I was about 10 or 11, getting involved with the competitive side when I entered Jr. High school at 12 and 13. High school, is where my love and passion allowed me to really grow and learn as a player.

In college, life was crazy hectic so exercise and organized sports became a thing of the past. About half way through my second year I began playing co-rec volleyball at school, running at the beach and rollerblading. My nutrition goals at that time were pretty nonexistent like any other 20 year old.
After I graduated college, I started taking my body more seriously and committed to a gym nearby. I started out slowly, setting a goal of 2-3 times a week for the first month or so. Then I upped the ante to 3-4 days a week. After a 2-3 months of settling into a schedule, exercise became a part of my daily life. It was 4-6 days a week from then on out and I've stuck to that consistency for the past 13 years! Even through my pregnancies, I stuck with my workouts at least 4-5 days a week.
My passion for fitness began as a way to "get back into shape" but quickly became a (healthy) obsession. About 4 or 5 months after I started exercising consistently, my Dad had his first major heart attack that resulted in a triple bypass heart surgery. That was enough to solidify my commitment to getting and staying healthy. I cut out soda, limited my fast food (cause let's face it I was still in my early 20's) and upped my water intake.

With the genetics that I was given, I knew that keeping my heart and body healthy through regular exercise and a better diet was the one factor that I could have some control over. So for those of you who may have never been able to understand my religious ways when it comes to exercise and fitness, there you have it.

I was able to maintain my weight at about 145-150 for about 4 or 5 years. Then I moved to AZ and put on about 15 lbs. Marriage, two pregnancies and my father's death took a toll on me and my body. When my youngest daughter was almost 1 years old,  I found myself at 185lbs  (the heaviest I had ever been in my life) and busting out of my size 14 clothes.  A combination of stress, grief, eating out and 2 pregnancies put me on a fast track to keep gaining weight.

I woke up one morning, tired of being overweight and not wanting to have to spend money to buy a new wardrobe in a larger size, determined to do something about it. After all, I had most of the skills and knowledge to lose I just had to commit myself to the process wholeheartedly. And thus began the next chapter in my fitness and weight loss.

Over the next 5 1/2 months, through a food journal, a controlled calorie diet, higher intensity cardio (I picked up running) and some changes to my strength training, I was able to lose nearly 40 lbs and 3 dress sizes! I went from a too tight 14 to a very slim 8. 185 lbs to 142 at my lowest. After about a year and a half I settled right around 145lbs and have pretty much been able to maintain that weight for the past 5+ years.

The next chapter of my journey was a hard one. Some of you know parts of the chapter but I don't think anyone knows the whole story. So here goes......

I have always had body image issues since as far back as I can remember. At ten or eleven years old I was well aware of the shape of my body and how it was different from the other girls my age. I developed quickly and at a young age. I basically had the body of a women at the age of 11/12. That was a tough thing to deal with at that age. I also was a self proclaimed "chubby" kid. Not "fat" but not exactly lean either.

After I lost all that weight in 2006, I still struggled somewhat with the image I saw in the mirror. (With age, the self critical eye becomes more stern.)  Women have it tough in society, with the media putting such emphasis on bodies. Magazines, movies, TV, sports, all so fixated on how big (or small) someone looks. I had a hard time accepting my body for what it was and took so much emphasis off of what I had already accomplished.

I began to obsess about one particular part of my body that I could never really sculpt the way I wanted. No matter what I did in the gym or how many calories I counted, I could never get the tummy I yearned for. Being pregnant twice really did a number on the elasticity and tone of my abdomen. Stretch marks for miles. Loose, flabby skin that I could not tame no matter what I did.

For about 3 years or so I contemplated cosmetic surgery, a tummy tuck to be exact. I scoured the internet for information, researched the procedure, pulled up before and after pictures and wondered if I could really commit to having it done. After all, it would give me a fresh starting point to get the abdomen I really wanted. It would do for me what I couldn't do on my own.

I spent many hours contemplating the procedure, wondering if I could live with the enormous scar and new belly button. Could I struggle through the pain and survive the recovery? And what sense did it make for me to elect to get cut from hip to hip when I worked so hard to have my children naturally? Was it worth it in the end? Would I have the peace of mind that I so desperately wanted and believed I deserved?

I knew I would and I knew I did.

So, after getting a referral to a surgeon I went in for a consultation, with no expectations only hoping to get an opinion on if I was a candidate and talk numbers ($$). After the consulate with the doctor, we talked numbers. Ouch! The next question was, "Could I live with the bill?!"


I knew I could.

For some of you this may come as a shocker and surprise, others of you already know what I had decided. In June of 2010, a few weeks shy of my 35th birthday I had the tummy tuck done. It has been the best thing I have done for myself. Ever. Happy birthday to me. :-)
Now, don't be fooled. Just because I had the procedure done, doesn't mean I had instant flat belly. No, no, no. I had to work very, very hard for about 8 or 9 months afterwards to make my body and core strong.  Diligence. Dedication. Commitment. Self-discipline.

When I went into this procedure, my final goal was to get my body in the kinda shape that would allow me to do a Figure competition. I had always felt that my abdomen issues were blocking my path to success. The surgery also corrected some damage I had incurred in my rectus muscles from being pregnant, which allowed me to really work my core and abs in a such a way that I could actually gain some muscle definition and strength.
In April, I had a light bulb moment. I decided that if I really put my mind to it, it was possible to get my body figure competition ready. I just had to work hard, commit and believe in myself and the process.

I reworked my strength training plan, changing my routine every 3 weeks. I upped my cardio to high intensity interval training. I committed to a "core" class twice a week. And I set up nutrition goals that would allow me to cut body fat, food journaling to keep myself on track and be accountable.  

I lost 5% body fat in about 33 days and about 7 inches total from my waist, hips, thighs, calves and arms. Total weight loss of about 8 lbs. I was a size 8 and now I am a size 4.
I have never been this small in my life.

I am proud of where I started, how far I have come, the level of commitment I have been able to maintain and my tenacity. In order to get to my ultimate goal of being competition ready, I have a long road to go yet.

I have some things yet to overcome and work through but I am trying to take it all one day at a time. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. ;-)

Posing Practice......ouch!

"What the hell is posing practice?!" is what I am sure some of you are thinking. I know, it sounds.....interesting. Some of you may even be wondering what this "Figure" competition I am in is really about. I suppose I have some holes to fill. :-)

A Figure competition is a class of physique-exhibition events for women that, although they bare a close resemblance to bodybuilding contests, they emphasize muscle tone over muscle size. In a Figure competition, women are judged based on muscular symmetry and tone. We are required to wear clear, high heeled shoes (high heels make the leg muscles contract and stand out) and a two-piece, barely there swimsuit. We are required to complete a series of quarter turns on stage and are compared from all sides on symmetry, presentation and other aesthetic qualities like skin tone, hair, and make-up. They also judge critically on conditioning, leanness, and how "athletic" or "feminine" the muscularity is. That all happens in the morning show. In the evening show, they judge on presentation, gracefulness, confidence, poise and professionalism.  It is essence, partly a pageant. *snort*

What have I got myself into?!

So, now you have some background on what I am really training for and what aspects I am trying to perfect.

Saturday was my first practice session with the group on posing requirements. The posing aspect of this competition is what has scared me the most. I have to learn how to isometrically contract all my muscles (specifically my lats, delts and quads) at the same time and look like it's effortless and relaxed at the same time. It takes a lot of practice, patience and concentration. And I have had to reteach my body  how to contract some muscles in completely different ways.

Practicing posing is hard work! You wouldn't necessarily think it would be, but I sweat during it! This is the what I have to repeat to myself when practicing: arms up, shoulders back, chest 0ut, lats flared, quads contracted, back arched and ass out! Now you try it. ;-) It's tough!

I hadn't realized that a full hour of practicing this would have made my body sore. But Saturday evening my lower back began to ache. At first I couldn't figure out why. Then it hit me. Posing practice! After thinking about it, I know the ache comes from the back arch, booty out part of the pose. I was holding my body in that contracted state for a minute or two at a time. I never figured I get a workout posing. Little did I know.

I'm looking forward to practice this week on my own. My coach told me to wear my heels whenever I am in my house - cooking, cleaning, whatever - to get used to wearing them and feeling comfortable walking in them. It is going to be a challenge, but I think I am up for it this week.

Wish  me luck!